Book review: The Year of Magical Thinking
Loss and Self-Pity: How to Always Be Prepared!
― Joan Didion, The Year of Magical Thinking
This is a quote I often revisit in my mind. Why? Because it is so relevant. It is so true. It is so real.
Loss is not easy. Grief is even harder. The first time that I realised that we were all in the same boat, was when I read this book. In this age of social media, it is easy to disassociate. To depersonalise. It often feels like the people on the screen aren’t even real, right?
How do you standardise the human experience: loss. Everyone has dealt with it atleast once in their life, and if you are one of the lucky ones who haven’t, you will one day. What the book wants to teach you is that life is unexpected. Change is the only constant in life, right? ‘You sit down to dinner, and life as you know it ends’. Unpredictability is a curse. But it’s also what keeps you grounded.
I have been in the same situation. I sat down to dinner, and barely an hour later, life as I knew it ended. A simple circumstance that changed my whole course. It’s like when the weather app says it’s going to be sunny, and then it starts pouring. ‘Why didn’t I bring an umbrella?’, is probably what I would’ve said. It’s natural for me to always expect myself to be prepared. To have my guard up. But that’s not possible.
It’s easy to reflect upon your actions and criticise yourself: why did I say that? Why did I wear that? Why didn’t I bring an umbrella: ‘The question of self-pity’.
You won’t always have brought an umbrella.
Sometimes you’ll sit down to dinner, and life as you know it, will end.
Sometimes all you can do is accept the situation, and work towards the future.
Don’t live life on the edge of your seat. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable! Don’t waste the years that you have the privilege to walk, run, experience, always preparing for the worst. If I know anything, I know the worst. I know that you will never always be prepared. Trying to do such a thing is counter-productive.
So, what can you do instead? Avoid focusing on what can go wrong, and rather on what can go right. Grief, loss, death, they are part of the human experience. But so is happiness, laughter, joy, understanding, and friendship. A balance is the key to (maybe) not regretting every single thing, you’ve ever done.
Although I personally do not find many of Joan Didion's writings to be relatable, I do believe that her writing and portrayals have a significant impact. You have expertly summarised the substance of her lessons and provided a compelling real-world example which is a learning for many!
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